Monday's my favourite day! Or maybe not...

That feeling... Everything could be so good. If today wasn’t Monday.

No, I don’t hate every Monday. I like Mondays in the holidays. And last Monday wasn’t that bad, either.

But today is the second Monday of the new school year and I returned to my old habit of hating Mondays.

Oh, my first week of school! I haven’t told you yet. The first day was maybe the best. I saw all the people again and we could talk about the holidays. Only one thing irritates me a bit: As I came back from abroad, I am now on the grade below where I hardly know anybody. Thank god, there are still a few people I have met before! And my feeling tells me, this is not going to be too bad!

Only one thing is too bad: My enormous pile of school books. Look at it! How am I supposed to carry them (even when there are only 5 of them a day) around with me? I tried it today when I had biology, math, English and history. I found out that I couldn’t close (or lift) my bag and rather decided to leave half of them at home. :p

I don’t know how to survive this or the next year. Already today I feel like a zombie. I feel more dead than alive. Maybe I should have slept a bit more this weekend but partying sounded like a better idea (and it was). Why can’t the weekend be a little bit longer?

A vocab in my English lesson today was ‘to motivate’ but I have no sense for it. Motivation where are you? I need you! How is it possible that you’re already gone before the school year has really started?

Maybe I should google how to love Mondays better. (Because I always google when I don’t know how to go on anymore.) Maybe I find a solution.

And if not – tomorrow is Tuesday. And then

Wednesday. And then Thursday. And Friday. And then again weekend! I just have to survive till then.

Hello from Hamburg!

Yesterday my sister and I went to a day trip to Hamburg. There hasn't been any special reason for that besides the fact that we have summer holidays and wanted to do something exciting. So why not visit the second biggest city in Germany?

And I would say getting up (how it felt) in the middle of night was totally worth it. It was a good day - a little bit of sightseeing, a little bit of shopping (what else?)..

Only one thing irritated me. I hadn't been there in while and we got totally lost once, walking from the harbour to the city.

In the end my sister and I came to a conclusion. Hamburg is not bad. It is beautiful indeed. But Berlin is way better. I know some people don't like to hear that. But at least I don't get lost there.

But I have already said it: I also like Hamburg. Still it is the most beautiful city of Northern Germany. Don't you think it's pretty?

At St. Pauli Landing Stages

The narrow canals in Hamburg HafenCity (Hafen is the German word for harbour.)

Hamburg's old brick warehouses

The town hall

I have found the paradise

Finally summer! And with summer I mean real summer. With sun and blue sky.  With beach and holidays.

Yeah, I know. I have already had summer holidays for five weeks but now the feeling is different.

My situation last week: I’m sitting inside the house watching the grey cloudy sky. Suddenly the sky opens up. I see something blue! So I take my jacket, go outside. I want to enjoy this tiny bit of sunshine. But at the very moment I step out of the door there is a heavy cloud cover again and it starts to rain. Is there anybody who understands the confusing weather in Germany?!

 But now it’s different! I guess I’m maybe a bit too optimistic saying “The summer has finally arrived!” because it’s actually been only the second sunny day.

Whatever.. I have been to the beach. For the first time this summer! And on the beach I have found the paradise.

Isn’t it gorgeous?

And I have been swimming in that blue water!

I have totally forgotten how beautiful it is. I live at the most beautiful place in the world! (That’s what I’m saying now.)

But honestly, there is no better way to spend a summer day than chilling on the beach.

Beloved reality

Looking at my first post, I feel guilty. This blog looks like everything I have once started: my journal, my novel, my homework… Maybe I’m just not good at concentrating on one thing.

But that was a promise. A promise of letting you know what’s going on with me.

I have been back in Germany for almost a month now, to be precise, for 26 days. I want to try to describe my situation.

I arrived at home and I felt something I had never felt before. I came home to the place where I grew up, to the place I know so well but it felt strange. Had the house grown bigger?

Then I met all the people again. I met my relatives and I went to school to see my friends. There I got the biggest surprise of all. I had always thought we all had changed so much during the ten months of my absence that it would be hard to meet each other again. I had even thought that we might not end up being friends anymore. But actually none of us had changed a bit. There are still the same kind of jokes everyone laughs about, there are still the same talks. I love you all for that!

Now after 26 days I hate the fact that nothing had changed. Yes, it’s fine that the people are still the same. It’s more than fine. But why had NOTHING changed at all?

It feels like I had never left last August, exactly 11 months ago. It seems like I had been here all the time. (Even though sometimes I just can’t get into the conversation when there are stories told about things that had happened during the last months.)

The first morning I woke up in my bed. (I can’t describe my happiness having slept in my very own bed again!) I felt a bit hungover. There it was: the social hangover. What else did I expect after months of great adventures and experiences? But what was even worse, suddenly Finland and the exchange weren’t real anymore. It was like waking up from a long dream and the more time goes by the further everything is away.

Once I was seriously wondering if I had just dreamed something really, really awesome. Maybe it was just dream. But one that has changed my life and still influences me a lot.

But on the other hand, there are all these photos, letters, postcards, journals and facebook friends.

This is all evidence I have. I didn’t dream.

But sometimes awesome things like my exchange feel so unreal compared to the dull normality. 

Doesn't it look like a dream? But how canI have photos of it then?

At the airport

Here am I sitting, waiting for my flight.

Yes, know it is a bit weird. Other exchange students start their blogs when they are actually going on exchange. MY first post is about sitting on the airport and going back home.

I have lived in Finland for a year and today is the day I’m going to see my home country Germany again for the first time after all these months.

If I am excited? Definitely! But I am also scared. I don’t know what is going to happen at home. We all have changed. A year is long. Sitting here I have the same feeling as on the day I left. I can’t even imagine anything about the future. I don’t have a clue.

On the one hand, I can’t wait to get into the airplane. On the other hand, I would just love to run away and let the biggest adventure of my life (so far) never end. Already on the carried to the airport I realized how much I love Finland and how beautiful the country is. Even from the airport windows I can see the amazing Finnish forest. I will miss the nature so much! 

Now I’m sure: I want to run away!

But I’m just sitting here watching the people. They are drinking coffee, eating, waiting like me.

Others are almost hectically to the gates because their flights are leaving soon.

By the way, I love airports. Airports are so international. You’re in only one country but at the same time in the whole world. There are so many languages spoken at an airport, there are so many different people. It feels like everyone from all over the world is coming together at airports.

Sometimes I wonder whether people are going home after a trip or whether they are leaving home for travelling.

And now I am wondering the same about me.

Am I going home or is it my home that I am leaving behind?

Me leaving my Finnish home this morning

The view out of the airport's windows

Not much time anymore!

Watching people in the café

The gate where I have to leave soon